I'm not gonna spend my life being a color

So I have been getting major reality checks lately, because I just think about things way too much. There's two months and two days till I graduate. That is so fucking crazy. I always knew that time would really fly but, holy shit! This is just ridiculous; this year has fucking zoomed by and I'm pretty scared to graduate and go out into the real world. I am excited as fuck too though. I know I can handle my own but just the idea of being away from my mom, friends, and other family is just scary. This past break was one of the first times that I wasn't with any family for a 'long' time. It's just fucking wack that I'm moving out.. I'm never going to live with my parents again, hopefully. I really hope that I don't become one of those drop outs who come back and work shitty jobs and become nothing. Since I have the worst luck I have a feeling that my life will be fucked up. Every time that I say something good about myself in a matter of days it gets messed up.
Since being in LA I don't even know if that's where I want to be. I can totally see myself in California but I'm not too sure about Downtown. It's just dirrrty. People walking their dogs on the sidewalks and telling them "good job" when they take a shit on the sidewalk. So messed up! People have no fucking common sense and it is so damn infuriating. There's always trees where you can drag your dog to make it do its business. Not on the sidewalk where people.. walk. And the smell just hangs in the air and it smells like you're in a toilet. And not to sound racist, but all the Mexicans! I knew that LA is very hispanic but shiiit. A lot of people don't even speak English. Talk about reality check.. The bums are so annoying! A guy asking for a dime so he can get a burger! So dumb. Where in the fuck are you gonna get a burger for a dime? You're gonna have to ask at least 10 people for dimes so you might possibly get a burger. But that's unlikely. And interrupting people's dinners. Ugh! So annoying. But I'm sure that all these things happened to me simply because I am me. I hate my luck.
Maybe I will get a tattoo of a shamrock, might bring me some luck. We'll see.
I just complain to fucking much. Some one should just slap me across the face