Aye Captain

So I totally didn't mean to publish that last post without stuff from last weekend. Man, I haven't update in what feels like eons! well from before the previous accidental post.

Anyways.. last weekend was super interesting.

Friday was opening night of the Senior art show. There was so much junk food I almost threw up because I ate so much. The strawberries that Toni made were like heaven! I would not mind have like 205760918 of them right now. I still can't believe that we actually pulled the show off. I honestly don't think it was that great, but at least it is finally over. And I can't believe that Mrs. Mason made up evaluate everyone's work and is going to show it to them! Aargh! I don't want people to see what I wrote, as if they can read it. I guess it's a good thing that I wrote really ugly.

So Saturday was Ho'olaulea which of course sucked. Nothing exciting except the Big Island Party Mix. So delicious! I worked my shift from 1 - 2. And I had like $20+ in scripts left over so I just bought a bunch of salad which I think I still might have. Fuck! Should have just bought a bunch of coffee instead. Oh well.

After Ho'olaulea I hung out at Joe's house for a little while. Then we picked up Kali and went to my house. Took a couple shots of sake which wasn't as bad as I remember it being. That's probably because I had a chaser. I actually kind of liked it with the chaser. But I doubt that I would actually drink it.. Picked up Mahea and had a super chill night. I love those kinds of nights way more that big parties. No drama and you can actually hear everyone. And you can see all the stupid things people do. I love it.

It was so funny how happy Mahea was because we smoked hookah and Joe bought her a pack.

Rule #32 Enjoy the Little Things

haha I love that movie.

me and kali being nerrrdy

Joe and Mahea not being able to handle

Coke and Captain, das it

lol

High Iron Content

That is the reason all my clothes are stained red from the dirt in Kauai. So this past weekend I went to Kauai for Uncle Mark's funeral. I didn't really know him so I felt pretty awkward all weekend. On Saturday at the service I felt so sad for everyone there because I could feel the sorrow emanating from the chapel from twenty feet away. It was like a piece of their heart was ripped out and stomped on right in front of their faces. I felt so intrusive of their private grieving time, but I went to be a supporting shoulder for my family. Minus the loss of an extremely loved on the weekend was as typical as any family gathering that we have. We need to start shaking things up a bit, but I doubt anyone would go for that since we're stuck in this rhythm and it sounds as good as Pena and Nea doing a duet. Friday Joe took me downtown since he had to get a new phone. I swear, he is stupidly addicted to his phone. I met up with mom after I almost got run over by a car. People tend to lose their common sense at airports, its so frustrating. We got to Kauai around 8 maybe then got picked up by Pena, Pohai, Nea, and Kaiolu. Which meant that I was stuck sitting in the back of the car. When we finally got to Hanapepe everyone was already eating and drinking. I smelled Shrimp Scampi and even though I wasn't hungry I went to look for some, but surprise surprise there was none. Oh well. Less food for me :). There was some drama about Aunty Babe's birthday cake, pretty lame. All the family drama is lame and just needs to be over already because it is sickening to listen to different people bitch about each other doing all the same shit. We got home around 11 and went to sleep around 1 and woke up at 7.

We got the the chapel pretty early and there was already people there. I didn't even know Uncle Mark and I almost cried because he touched so many people's lives that its such a tragic loss. And of course in times like these everyone talks to each other more and acts more loving. But I hate when that ends, I don't get why everyone isn't like that all the time. My mom started drinking pretty much as soon as we got there. I didn't think much of it until she kept drinking throughout the entire day. After the service ended at 12 we drove out to the cemetery, Nea and Nuti help up a banner over the walkway near Big Save which was pretty cool. My mother stuck her head out of the sun roof which resulted in her getting cuts on her hands, karma is indeed a bitch! At the burial a helicopter dropped flowers over us which was really cool. But I didn't think it was something to be screaming and cheering about which my mom did. Extremely loud. I was so embarrassed; like yeah it was really cool but screaming that loud was really unnecessary. Then that night we went back to the valley and ate and ate and ate. Kind of a boring night but what ever. It probably felt like that because I wasn't drinking. haha. My mother was really annoying, especially when she said, "you don't dance like them do you?" UGH! she's seen me dance before I have no idea why she would even say that, seriously. A lot of other people were getting annoyed by her which made me feel a little bit better.

Sunday we all got up, and of course had drama at breakfast. Then went down to the other house, but Pohai locked her keys in the car so they just stayed home. Kinda funny, but not completely unexpected from her. Everyone who isn't from Kauai ended up leaving early but for mom and me it was pretty pointless because we didn't get home till 11. I hate delays so much. Today I finally started doing my fucking scholarships. I hope Mossman counts them because they were fucking easy little things to do. He can't not count them because they are scholarships. I will fight him if he says they don't count.

Aunty Babe and Kylie laughing about something obviously

Pena, Pohai, Kaiolu at the service

My mother and Pena cheering for the flowers at the burial

Kaiolu being the cutest things ever. I love how he eats noodles its so adorable

Fuck my life in the ass hole backwards. Oh my fucking god I cannot believe this. I've been deleting pictures unknowingly. Fuck my life. GAAAAAAAAAAHH I seriously wanna shoot myself right now. fuck fuck fuck.

Officially

addicted to Tegan and Sara. I've known about them for years but since I am going to their concert in September I've been listening to them non-stop for about two weeks. I don't know why this happens.. Every time I go to a concert, or think that I will I start to listen to the artist like crazy. I guess its because I wanna know all their music in case they play old stuff and I know what they're playing. Just so I feel like I belong there. That's how it was for Taking Back Sunday and The Used even though I didn't see them. It will be a little over a week after I turn 18 so I am stoked for this concert. I am going, by any means necessary.

Tegan and Sara are so fucking gorgeous, sometimes I think Tegan is prettier but its usually Sara. There's just something about her that is beautiful. I want to marry her! Her voice is just so odd and amazing, like a Cindi Lauper chipmunk with an edge. It is beautiful. I couldn't stop watching their concert videos for about a week, all the shit they talk about is so funny but really true. They could probably be stand up comedians. Their writing is so simple but powerful and really relatable. I don't even know why I am writing this. But I think every one should love Tegan and Sara like I do. Mahea is getting annoyed at how much I'm playing them and I find it funny. But, what ever. I love them. The end.

So life is still a disaster. I haven't made that phone call that I really, really need to make. FUCK. But I will do it tomorrow and hopefully something will happen. Because my life will be over if nothing happens. School is so fucking stressful! Art show for ho'olaulea is next week and I still havae two more canvases to finish. I'm doomed. I will need like 3 packs of cigarettes and 10 bags of coffee. If only I could skip all my classes to work on it. But too bad I have all my mandatory classes this semester. I really hate this semester. Why couldn't the art show be at the end of the year like a final. But I guess it makes sense to have it now because everyone would definitely procrastinate and wouldn't pay attention to their finals so all of our other classes would be shot to hell. It still sucks though. Nothing I can do about it, so fuck it. I will finish the second canvas this weekend. That is a promise to who ever is reading this. And if I don't finish it you can personally punch me in the face, seriously.

I still don't even know what I'm going to do for my last one. But i have a couple days to figure this out. Shit I thought that our class would be really ahead, but we started so fucking late! We had just about three weeks to work on this. That annoys me. Last year's class had like two damn months. Not fair. But life isn't so why would it change for me? I just can't wait for Ho'olaulea to be done with! Fuck. I need to do my d.photo still. Damn damn damn.

FUCK!

so my fucking life is over. i am in the deepest shit that i have ever, ever been in. and it's going to ruin the rest of my fucking life. i have no idea what to do, well i do but i know i can't. this fucking sucks. that night ruined my life. that is my one true regret. i want to take it all back. i wish i had never gone, i wish i said that i actually didn't want to go, and i wish i could fix this. i don't even know what to say to either of them. one would say, "well you should have thought about that before you decided to do that." and the other would say, "it doesn't matter that you have something else to do. we won't allow you to finish." fuck my life. i wish there was someone who could help me. but i don't even want to talk to anyone about this. fuck

And so it goes..

wow my own brother just logged off facebook when i asked him something. i feel like shit. haha. oh well..
i have writer's block right now, well not entirely since i'm writing this. i just can't write about fucking don quixote. that fucking book is so fucking stupid. and i think i chose a really shitty topic. i wonder if ms. haina will let me change it.. doubt it. i really suck at analyzing things, i put too much of my own opinion in or what i write about is far form relevant. how is this book even relevant to anything!? she even said herself that the book is hard to read and she's always agreeing that it's a pain in the ass. why would you do something like that? oooh right. because you're a fucking satanist. by making journalism go on a fieldtrip to the maui news it was proven that she is truly a satanist. i almost died of boredom. i honestly thought that a news room would be exciting, but that is not true. or maybe that's just the case of maui news beause it's maui and maui is boring as fuck. that perry guy kept saying that he didn't want to bore us but he droned on for more than half an hour about the stupidest shit. like someone asked a question and he would take forever to get to the point then he'd go on and add things that we didn't want to know. it was seriously the worst field trip of my life. until we got the the printing, that was pretty interesting and the people weren't that boring. the people actually knew what they were talking about unlike the lady who was taking us on the tour. absolute bullshit. just like erin asking "who works here" that was the dumbest question i ever heard. people you idiot! unless you think oompaloompas work there. so fucking stupid. goddddddddddd she was so annoying in song practice. she really has no sense of personal space. she kept fucking hitting my legs and didn't even get the hint when i kneed her. and fucking telling britt and kau to be quiet when they were talking so loud that their voices were fucking echoing in the fucking gym. dumb bitch.
so i probably won't finish my essay.
i probably won't go to school on friday to work on my thematic. but i'll probably work at home. who knows. I do! and it's a no. uuggghhh
fuckfuckfuck